It might have felt alright at the time and the days and weeks after; your baby is healthy, you feel okay, but you find that your mind is wandering to an uncomfortable place, your body feels tight and you might be a little more tired. You start to wonder if a more normal or "natural" birth would have made a difference to you or your baby.
Everyone is saying to you that it will pass, "don't worry you have a healthy baby", "things will get easier" and while that is mostly true, you have been stopped in your conversational tracks and have been unable to talk through your feelings around your birthing experience. Try to talk to anyone who will listen and understand what you may be feeling.
Your birth may have been relatively smooth, but there are aspects that you need to examine. Traumatic or not, there may be things that are gnawing and don't quite make sense. This is your experience of a one event (or a few, depending on how many children you have) in your life that defines you - and often it is your initiation into motherhood with your first child. In this culture, birth is not very well celebrated or honoured, more the expectation with birth is, get it over with.
Birth for some women, is a enjoyable one, engineered so that we want to come back and do it again.
To heal a past "bad" birth is to prepare for the next, and to understand the birthing aspects of yourself, leading to a feeling of empowerment as preparation for the enormous task of parenting. Even if you decide your brood is complete, to heal this will improve the bond you have with your child, maybe even with your partner.
On the tree of life, we are currently in the sephira of Hod, which is about expansion, study, examination - use the energy of Gemini to examine the other side of the coin, delve deeper to the unknown or unspoken and shed light there, don't accept the surface knowledge and acceptable truth. Celebrate the joy of the divine feminine.
Kinesiologist, Birth Attendant who believes that living in harmony with the earth lies in conscious thinking, and living that philosophy daily makes for a sacred life. Paying attention to your inner world is essential to nurturing oneself and is just as valid as exploring and striving to understand the outer world.